Every parent that I can think of has had the same feeling. The instant that you find out that you are expecting or your wife is expecting you fall in love with this little miraculous gift. You begin thinking about it above yourself and you have never met. You worry about diet, exercise, music, sound levels, schools, neighborhoods, car seats, even who the doctor will be that you trust to bring this life into the world. The instant that you hear that cry, see that little scrunched up face, you know...it is a love affair that will last a life time.

Sleeplessness becomes the activity that seems to consume your life. At first you worry that they might stop breathing so you feel you need to check on them. Then you hear a cough or a moan and you worry that they are sick. They get older and you stay up later...at first doing the work that you didn't finish at the office or studying for your own classes. There are nights of worry as they spend their first night with a friend and then the horrible dating years when you worry about not just their safety and whether that boy knows how to drive or if your son will keep from getting distracted while out with friends.

You pack them up and send them off to college worrying about their future. Did they really pick a future that suits them or will the chosen profession provide employment opportunities and realistically cover living expenses. Will they be happy? Will they find the right spouse? Will they still need me...when I'm 64? They graduate, start careers, become successful if you're lucky and begin building their own lives. Oh sure...at first they need you. They need furniture for their apartment, they need a car, they need money to cover rent...whatever. But then it becomes less and less and all good parents begin to look for ways to remain relevant.

Children get married, buy houses, move to new cities or communities and that little boy or girl you held in one hand, that you paced the floor with while they cut their teeth, the one that you rushed to the emergency room with when the took a spill on their bike or scooter, they have a life of their own. There is another person who now fills that opening when they need help or want to talk.

But the funny think about love, it never really stops. You loved them from before you knew them and you will love them for the rest of your life. Your hopes and fears for them will remain part of your heart and soul forever. You will continue to want to make their lives better; to give them the best. When their car fails we want to step in and help fix it. If they are painting their house we want to help. We will buy them tools, offer support and try to do whatever we can. But there are just some limits to what we can do.

Parents are always going to be parents. They love their children unconditionally and always will. But loving them sometimes means letting go. Letting them figure out things regardless of how much we think we can fix it for them. Sometimes life will present them with challenges, just like we had, and we will not be able to do anything about it. We as parents are not relevant, or at least we can't be the most significant part of their lives in all situations. Sometimes what we do or say is not what they want. Sometimes what we say is not what they want to hear. Sometimes they would like us to just let them do it. And then, just like when we taught them to ride a bike, we need to learn to step back...let go...and hope and pray that it will turn out...and trust them handle the challenges themselves.

Love...that amazing emotion that does not allow us to just walk away. We may know in our minds and even in our hearts that they are adults but somehow it is hard to take the step back from someone you have loved for so long, someone you nurtured, taught, and encouraged and that you promised yourself you would never let anything harm them or hurt them or even stub their toe. But we have to let go.

Letting go does not mean that we stop loving. It just mean that we hold them in such a place in our heart that we know we can let go and the bicycle wheels will keep going around. They can do and we have done all we can for them. But if ever they think they need help, want an opinion or feel that we have something to offer all they need to do is ask.