Sorry I have not been too faithful in writing. I know there are some folks who wish I would never write again and some who are wondering where I have been. But to tell you the truth I've been a bit depressed lately. I don't know why...before you ask. Things are going fairly well. The number of boxes still to be unpacked has grown fairly small and we are finding places for most stuff...even if it is at the Goodwill. We've seen some good movies lately, if you need a recommendation let me know. But still some days it is all I can do to convince myself that getting out of bed is a good idea.

Depression is a sneaky thing...you, or at least I, never know when it will rear its ugly head. Nothing happened last week to make me depressed. But, without warning I spent most of then week in a dark funk. To be somewhat fair...the weather was a bit more grey than it has been and we had "Washington Sunshine" drizzle for several days. We had the chance to have our grandson spend a couple of days with us and though they were marvelous and we had a good time...I was still down and not myself with him.

Sometimes I think it is the lack of sunshine that gets me down. I know I am affected by that but that alone cannot be the problem since I have also had some great days when the weather is bleak and we have visited the beach to walk around the art galleries and shops. Sometimes I think that living on a fixed income is a challenge that gets to me but then again I can't say that is is a real problem. We live pretty much as we did before retirement. But still...when you realize that it will be several hundred dollars to buy a "green" electric mower for the yard or that you need to buy more window coverings to take care of the deteriorating ones left by the former owners of our home. But really these are not big deals, and yet, somehow they were part of last week's depression.

I thought for a while it might be that I just needed a bit of time to myself...a commodity that is sometimes priceless in the post retirement era. But in reality I am better when I am around others. Walks on the beach, trips up the Columbia Gorge, lazy lunches at restaurants overlooking the river all were among the things that made getting through the last couple of weeks possible. I can't imagine what life would be if I was left alone too long.

One morning I was looking at my "To Do" list and realizing how much there still was on the list. Candidly things are coming off pretty well and the list is down to one page. Most days I am able to drop at least a couple of things. But then almost every day has a couple of things to add...or three or four. Now that the weather is warming up there is the yard to be added...bushes to trim, trees to trim, lawns to mow, sidewalks to pressure wash. But these are all things that are satisfaction inducing. You do them and you can see the results pretty quickly and once done you may not have to do them again for another week, season, year. Sometimes I think yard work is a lot like the laundry. As soon as you finish it you know it is on the way to needing to be redone. But still, there is the satisfaction of seeing the yard look so well when you are done. The new lawnmower comes next week.

So to be clear...I have no earthly idea why I was depressed the past couple of weeks. It snuck on me and grabbed my from behind. It would not let go. I tried all my usual tricks to chase it away. I read, I took a ride away from the home. I changed tasks to get some variation. I turned on more lights. I even tried to get more sleep. But it would not let go. I spent time reading my Bible, reading my current book, watching movies. Nothing shook my mind free from the blue funk.

Then today...just as mysteriously as it arrived the depression lifted. I was able to get up this morning and get to work. I knocked off several things on the old To Do list. I did some shopping for the parts I needed and enjoyed being out. It was good to do the tasks and even better to see them completed. It was good to work with my hands again and to see things come together. I don't know where it comes from or why it leaves but I dread the former I am always glad for the latter. Today the sun was shining again. We had two days of beautiful sunshine, no precipitation. Things are getting easier to find. Life is looking up.

So tonight I sat on the porch with a glass of wine and the love of my life and we just talked as the sun set. I got a great note from a friend in Chicago. I don't know...but somehow life seems a bit better and I am smiling and even the music playing in the house is more upbeat today. I wonder how those around me deal with the times that I drop down into the dark valley. I wonder what they think and I am amazed at how much they try to pull me back up. But it still goes away, quietly. It leaves and I am slowly back to my jovial, happy self. (yeah, really I am jovial and happy)

So my friends...I will try to do better about writing and I will work on finding a way to stay ahead of the down times. Thanks to all those who had to hang in there waiting for me and thanks to all you others who did not know but if you had you would have been the first to step up and help me out of the hole. Now...I think I will have another glass of wine and some wonderful pot roast, maybe even some homemade biscuits. Life is not only good it is wonderful. God is good...all the time,,,my friends.