Pull the trigger...pull the trigger...it was the thought that was going through my mind about this time last year. Oh not that trigger, I had been thinking about retirement for some time. My job was just not what I had been hoping for and I'm at a point where if it doesn't make sense then why keep doing it. So just over a year ago I pulled the trigger, bit the bullet or what ever term you want to use and retired. At first it was like a vacation, it was relaxing, it was in many ways a relief to the stress I had been under. As the weeks went on it became a bit scary and then it became sort of normal.

In the past year we have moved twice...well maybe one and a half times. We sold a house, we moved to Paris, we bought a house and moved to the Pacific Northwest. We survived life in a country where we did not speak the language, at least not well enough to want to try. We lived without a car, I lost my wallet twice and cell phone once to pick-pockets. We bought a house online, sight unseen, we found a mortgage banker online and we closed a deal to purchase a house from more than five thousand miles away.

We moved our household goods from the Midwest to our new Pacific Northwest home, we have been unpacking for over a month. I might finally get a car in the garage next week. Who knows maybe even both of them my this time next month. We've remodeled the kitchen, we are beginning to repaint. Pictures are getting hung and I have my computer back up and running on my new "desk." All in all life is truly good.

But this year also brought some other changes. Finding myself without a job to go to each morning is strange after all these years. I am still wondering what I will do once the house is all settled. There are those satirical pieces you read about couples when the husband retires and the wife gets tired of him always being around. Well I can see how that happens. But I think it is a two way street. Finding time to be alone is much harder than you think it would be. It is not because your presence is required or even expected by the other it is because you don't want to seem like you are avoiding them or not happy with them. But time alone is as important at the time together.

It is easy to perseverate on small things. When you are working the small things just don't have time to come to the top. When you retire, life can sometimes become about the small things. Oh sure we say we want to travel....but where. It is not as easy as when you are working and you plan a vacation, you know how long you will be off, you know what else you have to do while you are off, you may want to be with some other couple or see someone in particular. It is not easy but you have boundaries. Now...no boundaries baby. Where would you like to go? How long do you want to be gone. Do you want to go there first or would you rather go there? Should we drive, we could see <fill in the blank> or should we fly. I know all this sounds pretentious, but it is true to some extent for any decision now. What would you like to do today? Unpack boxes upstairs, unpack the garage, work on the closet organizers for the upstairs bedrooms. go see a movie, go shopping? The world was much more defined or constrained before.

But still...I would not trade this for anything. I am enjoying time with my partner in crime even if he is only three and a half and can't drive the get away car he is still the best partner one could ask for. I am enjoying seeing movies again with the love of my life, and we can avoid the crowded times. I enjoy sitting on the porch swing just reading in the afternoons...after I've upacked all the boxes I want to for one day.

Some day I may look for something to do. I may volunteer, I may do some mentoring, I may just learn to sleep in. But for now, I think I will work on this new phase of life and learn to not sweat the small stuff as much. I'm going to enjoy reading and getting reacquainted with my favorite authors and learning about new subjects and topics. I am going to see if I can get even the least bit interested in yard work. Life is truly good.