I think I am going to shift gears a bit and move on to relationships for a bit. I was surprised a few weekends back, on a Sunday afternoon to be exact, when I got a video from my grandson and his mother, my daughter. Actually I was more excited and pleased than surprised...my daughter often sends short videos for me of what my grandson is doing...playing in the mud, picking flowers, playing with the cat...but this one was about the upcoming visit of my son with his family. At least that is what it said.

When I watched the video my grandson was talking about what he wanted to be for Halloween. My granddaughter, roughly the same age will be visiting from Europe around that time and we thought they might like being some related characters...Cinderella and Prince Charming, Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum, something fun....so the video was quite cute. No he didn't want to be a cat, he wanted to be a frog, but then he says quite clearly that he wants to be a big brother...WHAT?

Yes I am going to become a grandfather for the third time. I have to admit that I truly loved being a dad...my kids were fantastic and I could not have ever been more proud of them. When I watch my children with their children I begin to get a bit nostalgic just remembering the great times we had together. There is no feeling in the world like the feeling you get when you come in the door from a long day at work and have your kids standing on the chair by the garage door to be the first to give you a hug or a kiss or to have their mouth filled with whip cream that you picked up on the way home.

It was so wonderful to take them shopping on Saturday morning just so my wife could have some time to herself. It was only the grocery shopping but still...it was almost magical to see them get excited about being together in store and picking out their favorite fruits or ice cream or cereal. The afternoons mowing the lawn with my son or washing the car with my daughter pretending to drive through the rain.

But the joys of parenthood extend to "grandparenthood" as well. True enough, we don't get to see them as much. We miss the daily, little parts of life that make it so rich but I for one will take whatever part I am blessed to have. Sometimes playing buzzy bee through the iPad with a child 6000 miles away seems to be lacking but her laugh and smile and calls for "encore" more than make up for all that. I do get to spend more time with my grandson. We have breakfast on Saturday mornings sometimes...just the two of us and pancakes are the food of choice for two year olds I have found.

I remember my own grandfather...my maternal grandfather...he was Irish or perhaps more accurately Scots Irish. What I remember most is his ability to tell a story. He could look at almost anything and make up a story that would hold your attention for quite some time. He and I would walk home from my aunt's house on summer afternoons and he would sing me songs and he taught me to whistle. He would stop for his one beer and a pack of "lucky Strikes" and buy me a root beer and some candy cigs...no I never smoked as an adult, it did not warp my thinking and yes he died from lung and throat cancer so there was a real lesson in the evils of smoking...and we would continue our walk. He took me to see the ships in port in San Diego and to the museums in Balboa Park. But one of my favorite remembrances is from the times that he took me to see the fairy lights at night. He would drive up Mt. Soledad from the back and when we got to the turnout we would look over the lights of the city and he would say " the fairies are busy tonight, we will have to be quiet." It was simply amazing.

I still like to whistle when I am happy, I try not to sing if anyone can hear me but when I do I think of his rich baritone and I took my children when they were young up to the hills near our house to see the fairy lights at night. Maybe someday I will be a grandfather like my own to my grandchildren...I'm trying.

I guess the point here is that there is real joy in authentic relationships...those where both parities care about and love the other. Why those seem to stop when we reach adulthood I am not sure...maybe it is just not cool to go looking at fairy lights or maybe we know the reality of the vision but somehow we need to find that magic in each other. But, for now, I am just going to see if my grandson wants to try some pancakes this Saturday and let his mother get some much needed rest. Who knows maybe the fairies will still be busy somewhere if we just look.