Posie was there as was Mr. Bang and the Queen and of course there was Windy, the mother of the groom. The occasion was a wedding but the biggest part of the day was the time for the family to be family. Family...I know it seems like a weird family but it is mine none the less.

I had the most wonderful childhood you can imagine. Well at least for the first 14 years. I was blessed to be born into a family of joyful people. Perhaps more accurately half a family of joyful people, the other half had trouble finding a reason to even smile but who cared about them. My mother made life magical...I suppose at my age, and given that she has been dead for half a century, that might seem a bit of an over the top statement but it was true. Her family was, to say the least, one of those families that knew how to make the most out of life.

This past weekend when I was at the wedding of my cousin's son it came back to me how much I missed the simple joys, the fun of being a family. Over the years we have said good-by to so many and each of them took a piece of us with them. But they also left a piece in return. There was Esther Moo Moo the one who named us all, and her sisters Minerva Zerk and Slue Foot Sue. The three sisters as we called them for years were amazing to watch. The personified lives lived to the max. When the turkey fell on the floor due to a less then structural foil roasting pan the three sisters broke into a soft shoe rendition of The Good Ship Lollypop in the gravy on the floor of Minerva's kitchen. There were the ominous poker games when the sisters, along with assorted friends and extended family, would play with green accountant shades and cigars and stiff drinks of bourbon and scotch. The laughter and happiness coming from the room was the sweetest lullaby any of us could have heard...well it was either that or some great sirens call drawing us out of bed for the chance to watch the fun.

Their relationships were an inspiration to all of us about how we should treat each other and how lives should be lived. So this weekend when Posie, Windy, the Queen and Mr. Bang and I all got together some of that magic came back. Maybe it's because we are all getting older and some how life seems more relaxed now. Maybe it was because we had all been so busy for so long that this weekend brought us together in an environment that fostered the sharing of time and words. In any case, I for one was truly moved to think about how much I missed that world. I missed the time we spent together as a friends as much as cousins or siblings.

To be sure, not every day was all roses and daffodils. We all watched as we lost those closest to us. We saw the passing of the three sisters, but we did not lose the memories of our family. Esther could make anything magical. When a wasp came into the backyard and frightened all of us in the pool she took away the frightfulness by simply giving it a name...Tilly or Mathilda...and told us she was just collecting water to make some mud for her house because she needed more room for her family. The toad stools and mushrooms in the front yard were from the "Wee Folk" and they brought us all good fortune and luck so we should never touch them because we would scare the Wee Folk away and that would be bad. So much better I think than if you eat these you will die or get very sick which is what all my friends were told.

Minerva taught me about the value of "overs" when driving and the extremely important "oops" which must be called when you run a light and it turns red. She convinced my son that her marshmallows were AhPas which the family still uses to this day. There is obviously more to that story but it will wait for another day. I remember driving around town with my cousins sticking our heads through the hole in the convertible top of a Nash Metropolitan. Fun, yes, but equally important Minerva knew the value of sharing and giving. It was not uncommon to have her stop and help an elderly person home if they were walking or take the time to visit anyone she knew who was sick or needing some love and attention. That too was what this family was about...giving.

You get the picture...these women and their mother, my grandmother, taught us all about life as a family. Today we sometimes are forced for various reasons to leave much of that to the "outsourcing agents" we call pre-school, school, or even to the internet on occasion. Family is much more than the genetic binds that unite us...it is about a life lived connected to others...not by DNA but by the joys, sorrows, ups, downs, and everyday living that we joyfully share. Like characters in J.M. Barrie's book some of us out grew the magic of our childhoods...others still embrace it. Some of us no longer remember our magical names...Yogi Sugarpot, Eany Pitcher and Meany Catcher, Peter Perrywinkle, Big Billy Goat Gruff, and I am reasonably sure Mr. Bang was never fond of the T. T. part of his name...but still some of us use those names daily or at least in connection with each other. We are the ones that carry on the family values of living a life to the max...giving whenever we can...and maybe the most important part is taking each day for what is is and can be and not looking at it for what it does...it is a day worth living to the hilt.

So for now I am going to think about banana splits with Minerva Zerk and Windy Windmill and I want to remember Esther Moo Moo and the way she taught each of the kids in the neighborhood to swim while setting aside some "mom's time" in the pool and the ever important cocktail bell signalling time for the kids to leave the "adults" alone for while as they had adult conversation time. I will remember Pool Patrol for his great stories and songs. I will continue to remind Jenny and Pierre of their heritage and hopefully be as much of an inspiration to them to find the joy in life as Esther, Minerva, and Slue Foot Sue were to us. In the end...it will be our family that will miss us the most and we should want those memories to be filled, as are mine, with good times, great laughs, silly days and rollie pollie hills. And now I have grandchildren to inspire...what to name them....I need to get started on that.